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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 2, 2012 7:30pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> october 1st, 2012. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of
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podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment for both campaigns and they are going all out preparing. >> president obama and governor mitt romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical falsie. >> not in the face! not in the face! getting your ass kick is
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actually written into the song! >> so two highly accomplished men to see which one becomes the most powerful man in the free world. >> romney has to be chomping at the bits. >> beth myers tells campaign surrogates there are several reasons she believes the president will be likely to win the first debate. >> he has done these kind of debates before, this is mitt's first time on this kind of a stage. >> oh! >> maybe he is more on home at the vegas stage. >> r rated hypnotists or two gay germans trying to make a white tiger disappear. >> monkey on a bicycle. well, if it is mitt romney's first time at the rodeo, governor obama believes he has an enormous advantage. >> the president is going to lose the first debate. >> he is just not a great debator. >> look whose feelings about barack obama came back, and i
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guess what happened in charlotte stayed in charlotte. >> when american markets broke down, who jump-started our engine! barack obama! and when america needed him most, who got us rolling again on the road to recovery? >> barack obama! >> let me ask you this, people, who couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of hundreds? barack obama! >> that's my favorite am way presentation ever. >> all right, i get it time honored tradition to attach down expectations to make a slight win. >> here is great news for republicans, we have a candidate who is going to do extraordinarily well on wednesday night, oh (bleep) we have a runner! we have a runner! >> what are you doing, christi?
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apparently new jersey governor chris christie didn't get the memo that romney sucks at this. >> i think you will see the numbers start to move right back in the other direction. >> in whole race will be turned upside down come thursday morning. >> what are you doing, christi? >> for god's sake if romney fails to meet those heavy expectations he will lose the general election creating chaos in the republican party and leave out 2016 -- oh! >> the jersey is strong in this one. >> so all these guys to have a mild familiarity with the english language and it is considered a win. can we hear from someone not affiliated with the campaigns, what their expectation might be? >> both men have a monumental undertaking for the first debate, one of them has to come off as nicer and less air began than he really is and the other has to be zero more normal and
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lestrange than he really is. >> jon: then how did we end up with these two idiots? look, we are not looking for coherent ideology, americans are just looking for assurance the next president isn't going to be a weirdo. who thinks she better than us. how exactly will romney counter the idea that he is awkward and not normal? >> mr. romney's team concluded the debates are about creating moments, the quick series of zingers he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since august. >> jon: they equipped him with zingers. >> and you know what? the best zingers are two ones you practice for two months. >> a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. it is a bar for homosexuals. the priest and the rabbi fall in love and get married because of barack obama! zing!
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>> i will tell you this, people. i would not (bleep) barack obama's economy with the (bleep). zing! >> zing! >> the candidates are preparing for wednesday's debate we go to senior correspondent aasif mandvi. >> you are with the romney camp, how is he doing? >> he is prepping the best he can, jon, but you hate to see an uphill battle like this, this is the president, the greatest or for this, orator this country has seen since lincoln. >> like i mean, mitt romney, talk about brilliant two, harvard degrees, the guy has never even lost an argument, he is no slouch, i mean, he is the president. >> smoke and mirrors, jon, right now they are drilling him on basic grammar skills. hoping to get some agreement
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during this debate. >> romney's people are just hoping he remains up right. >> he is a buying napper, jon, buying napper. >> mitt romney, 90 minutes awake and up right means buying win for the camp. >> jon: well, i certainly imagine romney will accomplish that. >> barack obama can only count to 27. >> jon: all right. all right. >> mitt romney has never gone more than 17 minutes without blurting out the n word. >> jon: really? >> the n word! >> barack obama gets through this debate without pulling out his dong and swinging it around while yelling check out marine one! it will be a victory! >> if only mitt romney knew how to use a zipper he could zipper the name of one of his sons. >> jon: all right, guys, slow down. if mitt romney doesn't pass out. >> not likely but ifed happens, buying victory.
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>> jon: and if barack obama keeps his (bleep) in his pants >> i don't see that happening but fingers cross, that would be a huge, huge victory. >> jon: will help americans decide which one of these functional man children is best-equipped to bring america back to greatness. >> yep. >> jon: thank you so much,
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>> jon: thank you much! transparency, openness, open lines of communication, they are not just phrases you vaguely hear your wife say while you are trying to watch the giants game. also important hallmarks of professional administration and that is the subject of our installment of our new series, do you guys ever talk to each other? >> tonight's topic, the terrorist attack, on the u.s. embassy in libya that killed four americans, including our ambassador to libya. >> white house was still in fact finding mode. >> i am telling you this is under investigation, an ongoing investigation. >> jon: that is good thinking. although in the press conference we did establish a hunch. >> we have no information to suggest that it was a preplanned attack. the unrest we have seen around
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the region has been in reaction to a video. >> jon: yeah. crappy mohammed movie. things like the ring. three days after you watch it, embassies just burst into flames. so your administration story is one anti-muslim video on youtube touched off the massive protest es on september 11th and spread quick throw 27 other places. >> seems implausible but after carney's press conference he had an explanation for that. >> our current assessment assessment is what happened in benghazi was in fact initially a spontaneous reaction to what had just transpired hours before in cairo, almost a copy cat of the demonstrations against our facility in cairo, which were prompted, of course, by the video. >> jon: copycat! so libya wasn't the ring, it was the ring 2. so five days after the attacks
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the white house was still thinking on the video store. >> the national terrorist center went in frong of continue, in front of congress with a slightly different assessment. >> i would say, yes, they were killed in the course of a terrorist attack on our embassy. >> jon: of course, he would say it is a terrorist attack, he runs the counter-terrorism center, he thinks everything is terror, if you asks ghost busters they would blame ghosts. you know what i mean? if you asked the foo fighters they would probably blame it on foo. >> anyway, the gentleman had company in making that assessment. >> i think it is self evidence what happened in benghazi was a terrorist attack. >> jon: oh. how bad does it suck to be the white house press secretary. hey tell them amount the video. >> okay. get out there and tell them it was a terrorist attack. >> okay. >> jon: not to mention judging by the sound of that video, apparently they make him stand at a very special place while
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answering questions. you know what? it is not so weird. it started out the administration wasn't quite sure what happened. they made a couple of statements which later they wanted to take back and by day eight, they were very clear that this was a terrorist attack, so the president spokesman said it is a terrorist attack. cut to the president of the united states just three hours later. >> i don't want to speak to something until we have all of the information. what we do know is that the natural protests that arose because of the outrage over the video were used as an excuse by extremists to see if they can also directly harm u.s. interests. >> jon: so do you guys talk to each other or -- i mean, for god's sake hillary clinton got the memo. >> what happened in benghazi was a terrorist attack. >> jon: so let's try again in
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a safer space. >> i heard hillary clinton say that it was an act of terrorism. is it? what do you say? >> well, we are still doing an investigation. there is no doubt that the kind of weapons that were used, the ongoing assault that it wasn't just a mob action. >> jon: and? and if it wasn't just a mob action but not an act of terrorism either, what does that leave? what, libyan st. patrick's day? what is going on? a quinceanera that got out of hand? now a cynic would argue he is unwilling to admit the embassy was hit by terrorists because it would make him look back. but maybe it is honest confusion, maybe it is honest confusion and it took a week to figure out what happened in libya. >> our sources tell us they knew within 24 hours this was a terror attack. >> jon: (bleep)! well, two
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things apparently have become clear, the attack on our embassy was planned and coordinated, the response to it, not so much. we will be right back.
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>> jon: my guests tonight, actor, former governor of california, his new memoirs is called "total recall", my unbelievable true life story, arnold schwarzenegger!
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>> thank you. >> jon: you are looking good, what do you bench, 150? 160? >> a little higher. >> jon: a little higher? >> exactly. >> jon:. >> i stopped benching in high school so i am not sure what it is. "total recall", so, listen, so you obviously, you know, we have to get the elephant out of the room, obviously what everybody is thinking about when they look at this is what were you thinking with jingle all the way? why write the book now when you, when you go on the show, they are just going to dredge up all of this terrible stuff. why not wait until the cops, the heat, everything cools off? why do it now? >> well, i never was the kind of person that runs away from the problem, so i run towards it, and the thing is, this is a
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mistake that i made, i feel embarrassed about it and ashamed of it, i heard a lot of people, and i wanted it to be a part of the book because my book is all about a great immigrant story and with all of the successes and also all my failures and the mistakes i have made. >> jon: so it is shakespearean to some extent. >> it is the whole package, is what it is. so, you know, those questions will come up no matter what, if they come up now or come up in the next movie, you can't run away from those kind of things. it is much better to just talk about it, people are interested to find out more about it, it is in the book, i write about the whole thing and also i go out and do interviews and deal with it and let the questions come up. >> jon: did anybody ever say, like don't do this, dude, don't, don't, don't. >> i think that my kids have a hard time with it. >> jon: sure. >> look, this was very tough on maria. >> jon: sure. >> this was very tough on my children, it was very tough on some of my friends and
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everything like that, i disappointed awe all of them. >> jon: it is few on me right now. i don't like this. >> thank you. i appreciate it. >> jon: i am uncomfortable. i don't want to know about it either. stop. >> couldn't you just go to the future and then come back and kill that arnold? and then there could be some -- there has to be something you could do. >> i was trying to figure that out, but it didn't come up with that solution. >> jon: so you come out with this and you startles a think tank. >> right. >> jon: at usc. what is the name of the think tank? >> the usc schwarzenegger, basically think tank. >> jon: you have to do better than that. >> the schwarzenegger think tank? >> the institute of state and global policy that we deal with environmental issues, economic
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issues, healthcare issues, and especially studying of how do we bring both of the parties together so they can make decisions. rather than what is going on in washington right now where they are always fighting about who is right and who is wrong, pointing fingers at each other and nothing gets done. >> jon: so you establish a place where perhaps they could cooperate and, if you think it is possible. >> how do we get future leaders to learn about that? because so many times you learn things at universities and how to craft policy and how to really solve a problem, but then the next step is how do you get it really done, when politics gets inbetween, and i saw this firsthand when i was in sacramento, there were a lot of good ideas put on the table and we had great ideas but question can't always get it done because of the fighting that is going on and the politics. >> jon: the whole idea, how difficult is it for you, you have got the entire legend of arnold schwarzenegger, the body builder, the action star, and you get in and you can be
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stoppedable -- in the old days i remember, who was it, predator couldn't stop you. but now you are in california and some guy from sacramento, a democratic state senator is like -- don't you -- wasn't that many some ways a rude awake ming to someone who was a hollywood legend accustomed to everything coming his way? >> well, the bottom line is that we were able to accomplish a lot by bringing both of the parties together, i mean, remember that we have in california stem cell research, millions of dollars, more than any other state or country put aside for specific research and started rebuilding the california infrastructure, the republicans and democrats got together and got it approved and put it on the ballot, the people approved it, $42 billion so a lot of things like that, rebuilding our prisons and also environmental progress, reducing our greenhouse gas, 25 percent,
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all of this stuff was done but there were other things that were much more difficult and it was a real eyeopener like you said, when i sat there and said look, we have to cut down the spending by $5 billion and they said, hell no, we will continue spending because the people immediate toes programs and those services, we are not going to have welfare reform and not do this or that, so i was running up against the wall. >> jon: california is a very interesting state because they have made it very difficult to raise property taxes. they are sort of this strange direct where they can put things on referendum where you can't raise taxes but the people can also vote on what they want. >> that's right. >> jon: so it is the perfect symbol for the difficulties we have in the country of getting the services we want while convincing people that they do have to bay for it. >> yes. you have that rob, but you also have the other problem, which is that mistakes were made, not only in california but all over the united states, when it comes to pensions.
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we have in california now for instance $400 billion of unfunded liability, this is something that was done by the legislature, not by the people, so there is a huge amount of money that is being going out, and now it is not available for programs for the people, just because it is for retired people and kind of like you are living in the past, you are taking care of things in the past rather than look to looking to the future and building schools and roads and universities and less study -- >> jon: i keep coming back to this idea, if only somebody could come back from the future. do you have a couple of minutes to stick around? >> absolutely. >> jon: all right. "total recall" is on the bookshelves now, arnold schwarzenegger, we will be right back. j0c$aaaaacxx,x
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>> jon: and that's our show. by the way, the rest of the schwarzenegger interview is upton web, it is interesting what he said as he was leaving, he said that was great. i will be back. and it was weird. join us tomorrow. here is your moment of zen. >> here is your tip, guys. if you want to prosper in our very competitive society you have to have a nice appearance. if you wear crummy shoes, people notice. when you buy the shoes, pony up and get the best ones you can afford. i have bali shoes from eight